So, my boss is a huge Auburn fan. The news just came out that Cam Newton is eligible to play. I walk by his office and figure this would be a good kiss-ass opportunity. The plan is that I will simply give him a little "Good for Cam" or "Good for Auburn" pick-me-up as I walk by his office to the water cooler:
ME: Hey man, just heard the news on Cam. Sounds like great news. You gotta be excited, even if they're saying stuff about it maybe not being ov-
HIM: The ONLY dipshits saying it ain't over is the BAMMERS and the dumbasses who have NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT!
ME: Oh yeah, I feel ya on-
HIM: These idiots like Mandel just need CRAP to write to people like the BAMMERS to give them more hits on their SITE!! Listen to this, and YOU tell ME, LISTEN...
(He then turns his back to me and looks at his computer. There is about a 20 second awkward silence as he has to find the opened NCAA webpage among the plethora of various Auburn messageboards and blogs pulled up on his comptuter. Finally, he reads aloud, off his computer screen, about 90% of the entire NCAA article from the web... skipping the part that says "based on the information available to the reinstatement staff at this time, we do not have sufficient evidence...." Then he turns back to me, still standing in the doorway with my water bottle in hand)
HIM: ...sounds like it is OVER to me?? BASED ON THAT, YOU TELL ME?!
ME: Yeah man, sounds like they just called out Cecil and-
HIM: Damn, right. He's cleared. End of story.
ME: (nervously) Well... Good news, man. I'll talk to you later...
So much for using that as a future small talk conversation starter.
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